International Festival of Trans Films (1)

The annual festival of films on transsexual themes is back in Bologna (Italy) for its 7th edition. I had discovered this festival only last year (2013) and found it to be a wonderful opportunity to challenge some of my prejudices and deeply held ideas about sexuality. This post presents some of the short and long films that I have seen so far in the festival.

Divergenti 2014 Film Festival

The festival of films on transsexual themes is organized by the Italian Movement of Transsexual (MIT) persons based in Bologna (Italy).

I missed the films on the first day of the festival, as that day I was travelling back from Geneva and was too tired to go out. I also missed some films on the second day of the festival, as I had preferred to attend a symposium organized by the festival. Finally, yesterday, the third day of the festival, I could dedicate it to watching films.

Here are some comments on the films I have seen in the festival.

52 Tuesdays (Australia, 2014)

"52 Tuesdays" is a feature film by director Sophie Hyde, and is almost 2 hours long. The film is about a teenage girl called Billie (Tilda Cobham Hervey), who is making a video diary to share her feelings and parts of her life. Billie's parents are separated but are still friendly.

Billie, who was very close to her mother Jane (Del Herbert Jane), is shattered when her mother asks her to leave home and to stay with her father Tom (Beau Travis Williams) for one year. Jane has decided to transit and become a man, and during this process, prefers not to have Billie around in the house.

Billie refuses to accept this forced separation and finally her mother relents - they will meet every Tuesday for a few hours. The film tells the story of the changes in Billie and Jane's lives, through brief glimpses of those 52 Tuesdays spread along the year. It follows Billie's discovery of her own sexuality and friendship with her school mates Josh (Sam Althuizen) and Jasmin (Imogen Archer), and Jane's journey to become James.

Jane's brother Harry (Mario Spate), who is also separated and lives with his sister, and Billie's father Tom, are the other two key figures in the film.

It is a coming of age story about Billie and her final acceptance of the choices made by her mother. At the end it is Tom who makes Billie understand her mother, "You are the person he loved most. He did not want to break the close bond that both of you had. Because of you, he waited so long to become the person he felt himself to be. Inside, he is still the same person, your mother, who loves you more than anyone else. Would you have preferred that he continued to hide and not be what he felt inside?"

The film focuses on relationship issues between Jane/James and Billie, and does not go into prejudices and social discrimination around the issue of changing gender identities in Australia. Tom is almost too good to be true, very understanding and supportive about his ex-wife. Harry, on the other hand, is a more complex character.

I think that if transgender parents decide to initiate transition when their children are adolescent (and entering a problematic life phase), the parent-child relationships are likely to become even more complicated. It would be easier if the transition occurs when the child is younger and can better accept the changes. Or, it may be slightly less complicated, if the child is grown up and mature. The film explains Jane/Jame's reason (the strong bond with his daughter), for not transitioning earlier and thus becomes an opportunity to explore the impact of such a decision on an adolescent.

The film stimulated some questions in my mind - Would it be more difficult for a child to accept a FtM mother or a MtF father? How will the gender of the child influence this acceptance? For example, would it have been easier if Billie had been a guy? I am not sure how all these variables would influence the parents-children relationships and if any general conclusions can be drawn about them.

The most difficult parts of this film for me were those related to Billie's exploration of her sexuality with Jasmin and Josh. These scenes created a strong feeling of unease in me, and were probably determined by my Asian/Indian upbringing in the 1960s-1970s where adolescents, especially girls, experimenting with their sexuality, would have been culturally unacceptable. Thus, the easy acceptance of Billie's sexual explorations by her parents in the film, made me feel as some kind of old fashioned and retrograde person.

Filmed actually on 52 Tuesdays with non-professional actors, film does seem a real-life video diary, and not a make-believe world. Both Tilda and Del Herbert give authentic performances as Billie and Jane/James. You can watch the film's trailer on the film website.

Kiss from the top floor (Mexico, 2013)

This is a short film (12 minutes) and its original title is "Bajo el ultimo techo". The film is about Beto, who lives with his grandparents while his mother has gone off to live in India. One day a new person, Stephania, comes to live in the apartment next door and Beto discovers a fascinating world of art and play in her house. Quickly they become friends.

One day, Stephania tells Beto that when she was young, she was a boy like him and inside her two persons lived - the boy Esteban and the girl Stephania.

The social prejudices against the transgender persons force Stephania to leave the apartment. To say goodbye to his friend, Beto escapes from his apartment and climbs to the top terrace of the building.

It is a simple and uncomplicated film that focuses on children's easy acceptance of those who are different. You can watch the trailor of this film on Vimeo.

The New Dress (Spain, 2007)

The original title of this short film (14 minutes) by director Sergi Perez is "Vestido Nuevo" and is a very moving film about the relationship between a father and his son who wants to dress up as a girl.

The film tells the story of a carnival day in a school. Children are supposed to dress up as the Dalmata dogs but Mario comes dressed up in his sister's pink frock. The principle calls Mario's father to the school.

The film with its surprise ending brought a node to my throat. I think that the film is very manipulative with an absolutely adorable boy - like his father, you can't but love him and yet pity him for his desires because you know that the world will be ruthless with him. The film makes you feel hopeful - even if the world will be cruel to your child, you can make sure that he/she can always count on your love and acceptance.

Therefore, in spite of its manipulativeness, I think that the film is very effective and should be obligatory for all parents, especially for the fathers.

You can watch the full film on Youtube with subtitles in English (Thanks to Rohini for the link) - it is a film that will not fail to touch you!

You're Dead To Me (USA, 2013)

This short film (10 minutes) based in a Latino family is by American-Chinese director Wu Tsang. The film is about a Maxican woman Andrea (Laura Patalano) and her preparations for the "Dia de los muertos" (the day for remembering dead persons), and the visit of her estranged daughter (Harmony Santana) who has chosen to become a man (Gabriel).

Gabriel no longer lives with his mother, because of her fear of social backlash. They can only meet secretly."Where is my lucky cap?" Gabriel asks.

"How much did I love you as my daughter", Andrea tells Gabriel, asking him to wear the white long dress and become a daughter for a short while, "You do that and I promise to give you, your lucky cap."

Hidden and forced into a gender role that he does not want, Gabriel is the ghost that has come to visit his mother on the day of the dead.

The film mixes reality and imagination in a clever way to drive home its point about accepting your children as they are and not to give in to social pressures. It is my "number one" film from this festival so far and I strongly recommend it.

Both the actors, Laura and Harmony are wonderful. Their way of speaking in mixed Spanish and English reminded me of our own mixing of Hindi and English in India. You can watch a trailer of this film on Vimeo.

Conclusions

The international festival of Trans films is a great opportunity to see the films that are normally ignored on TV and cinema halls. From the first group of films, my favourites were "You're dead to me" and "Vestido Nuevo".

I also hope that my comments will encourage you watch these films, at least some of them! Even if you can't watch the full films on Youtube or Vimeo now (except for Vestitdo Nuevo), sooner or later they will become accessible on internet.

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Transitions and sexual identities

In a meeting, I always count how many men and women are there in the room. As a researcher, it is something that I do without conscious thinking. Categorising persons and placing them in separate boxes is instinctive for me.

But for once I was a little confused - how many of them were men born as women, men born as men, women born as men, women born as women, men dressed as women, women dressed as men, those who felt some times as men and some times as women - it was impossible to say.

For example, I had been sure that the young woman sitting next to me was trans-gender, but it turned out that she was not. On the other hand, a bearded young man with twinkling eyes, colourful tattoos on muscular arms and an open infectious laughter, had started his life as a girl.

That confusion made me reflect about how diverse and multiple can be our sexual identities, once we scratch below the surface of "Male or female". And, how little the external appearances tell us about the persons. Yet, in spite of that, how much we worry about others' opinions about us!

I was at the first day of a symposium on "Transitions - beyond the surgeons' knives". The symposium was part of Divergenti 2014 - the international festival of trans films of Bologna (Italy). This festival is organised by Italian Transsexual Movement (M.I.T.).

Transitions - Sexual identities and surgeons' knives

Porpora Marcasciano, the president of MIT, explained the logic behind the symposium. MIT in Bologna runs a government clinic where persons can get advice and follow the process for transitioning (changing the gender with which they were born).

Porpora said, "Transition is about hormone therapies and surgeries, but it does not end there. It can be a process where not everyone chooses the path of hormones or surgery, but for some of us, making our bodies in line with our mental images of ourselves is fundamental. Whatever path we choose, the process of becoming the person we wish to be, goes on. The theme of the symposium and the festival is 'Crossing over' - including the surgeons' knives, but also going beyond it."

The symposium had different speakers. Here are some of the points that struck me and made me reflect.

Transia - the trans-anxiety

All of us sometimes worry about how we come across to others - worrying about our expanding waist lines or wrinkles or white hair. However, in the symposium many speakers talked of "Transia" or Trans-anxiety ('ansia' is Italian for anxiety), that went much beyond our usual every-day worries.

Transia is a never-ending feeling of anxiety of your perceptions about yourself - looking at what is missing in you to be a 'real' man or woman, about how others are going to judge you or find you out that you are false. This anxiety is fueled by real or perceived negative attitudes of others but most of it is about the high criteria that persons with dynamic/alternate gender identities use to judge themselves.

Giorgio felt that FtM (female to Male) men feel less anxiety - they are often not worried about having proper male genitals or other details such as not having Adam's apple. He said, "To be a guy is much simpler compared to being a woman - MtF women (Male to Female) worry about everything and worry so much more." It seemed to me that he was underlining the male carelessness about external appearance compared to the women, as some kind of stereotypical personality trait.

However, I think that FtM men may be less concerned with their body appearance partly because surgical solutions to the desire of having a functioning male genital are complicated and not always satisfactory. Perhaps, if you believe that in any case you are not going to end up with a functioning dick, you can go beyond it and accept yourself more easily?

On the other hand, for MtF women, I think that issues are more complicated because they can have perfect vaginas through surgery so that sometimes their partners may not even guess that their bodies were constructed - this raises moral dilemmas of "should I tell" as well as, brings closer the mirage of being a 'complete' woman?

One of the examples about transia was the anxiety related to urinating - FtM men worrying about urinating standing up and MtF women worrying about urinating sitting down.

"Men can sit down and urinate without feeling that their masculinity is being questioned but FtM are very anxious about it", Giorgio had said, "This questioning and insecurity never passes. We worry about the models of masculinity and femininity all the time, and confirmations about our masculinity or femininity are never enough, we continuously crave them. The world watching us is something we carry inside us, all the time."

Childhood cultural conditioning

Giorgio gave another example of the way our childhood experiences condition us.

At the end of a dinner with friends, he noticed that all the men rose up and started taking away the plates and glasses to the kitchen while all the women remained sitting, talking. "At first I thought it was good that there was more gender equality", he explained, "then I realised that it was our childhood conditioning. MtF women continued to behave like men do at dinners while FtM men behaved like they had learned as little girls."

This example made me understand a bit about life-long struggle and process of transitioning. Persons do not become men or women just because they change their genitals through operations - changing their feelings, way of thinking and behaviour, probably continues for all their lives.

"Transition is a moment - at least in the beginning, when you start hormone therapy, experience your new puberty, discover new sensations, new name, a new you, the joy of coming out", Giorgio said, "they call it 'gender euphoria'. Then you discover that transition did not end there, that your past history does not get cancelled, so you start a lifelong process of transition."

The technological chimera

Different persons touched on technological advances and what it can mean for the the trans-gender persons in future. For example, some persons talked about the possibilities of creating perfect vaginas, ovaries, dicks and testicles from the advances in stem cell technology that can be implanted to have 'perfect' bodies.

At the same time, different persons talked about the difficult psychological processes and lifelong search for relationships, that will not be resolved by the technical advances.

Another area of discussion was related to internet - some persons complained about the confusion, unrealistic expectations and wrong advice from discussion forums and chats.

Others defended the importance of internet in reaching out to persons living in areas where there are no information or support services  and in finding information materials and guidelines from other countries.

Personally I think that complaints about 'dangers' or 'uselessness' of internet are like complaining about your families or friends - it is easy to bitch about them because they are there. A world without internet would be a huge set back for marginalised groups like trans-gender persons, even more so in certain parts of the world, pushing them back into lives of complete isolation.

Defining "trans"

Who can call themselves trans? Regina raised this question.

When does a MtF person become a woman or a FtM become a man? The desire is a spectrum that can vary from occasional feelings to an all consuming need that wants to cancel the unwanted parts of the body and make a new body in line with one's feelings. On this spectrum, who and when can someone define her/himself as a transgender person?

One of the women had very strong feelings about it - "To call oneself a trans has become a fashion. These men and women, they live ordinary lives, have sex without angst, but in the parties they like to show off and say that they are trans. Where is their trans experience? We need to fight them and throw them out."

This discussion reminded me of similar discussions among the persons with disabilities where they sometimes fight about who is really disabled and who has the right to be the community's spokes-person.

In my opinion, only we ourselves can choose how to define ourselves - we decide if what we feel or think is trans or non-trans, we decide where we see ourselves in the spectrums of gender identities. Only when this self-definition is linked to practical gains in daily lives - for example, to get a job or to get benefits - we need some objective criteria to define who can get those benefits.

Conclusions

This is not a summary of everything that came out in the symposium - rather some notes about things that struck me.

There were some things that I wish I could have learned more about. For example, in the meeting there was Lucy, a ninety years old trans woman. In 1944-45, she was sent to the concentration camp in Dachau because of her being a trans-gender person. I think that it will be wonderful to talk to her to know more about her life.

In a poetic intervention, Marco had said, "Our fault is that we threaten the male-female dichotomy. People continuously ask us - who are you? what do you have between your legs? And, we have this huge desire for 'normality'. How can we live in another way of imagination? Our paths are so variable - some of us wish to go from X to Y, others do not wish to go anywhere and prefer to live on the borders. Who transitions and where? May be the society needs to transition?"

I think that Marco's words sum up wonderfully many of the ideas of the meeting.

This is my first post about "Divergenti 2014" - I am planning to see some of the films in this festival - I will write about them in the coming days.

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Becoming a woman

The 2011 film by the dutch director Susan Koenen, "I am a girl" (original title: Ik ben een meisje) is about a 13 year old girl, Joppe, her growing up and her crush on a boy. Joppe was born a boy and the film touches on her journey to become a woman.

Story

Joppe has braces, long hair and a beautiful smile. Like her friends, she also dreams of love. She has a crush on Brian, but he does not answer her gestures for going out with her. Then one day Joppe hears from her friends that Brian is going out with another girl and she is sad. "I won't let it keep me down, life will go on", she tells her friends.

At the background of this simple tale of a teenage crush and growing up pains, is the story of Joppe's transformation from a boy to a girl, who wants to become a woman.

Comments

It is a simple film told in a simple way. At one level Joppe's journey of transformation from a boy to a girl seems almost painless. As a very young child she decided that she preferred to be a girl. Initially her family did not agree, but then they accepted her decision and in 5th standard (final year of primary school) she started this journey of transformation.

In the school it seems that Joppe has no problems from her classmates or from other young people. She spends her time with her friends. And when she goes to the middle school, she explains to her classmates about herself, so that everyone knows about what she is going through.

Joppe starts receiving injectable medicines that can stop her body from producing the male hormone, so that her body will not have the typical changes that occur in the boys during puberty - such as deepening of voice, growth of facial and body hair and growth of genitals.

Joppe knows what will be the path of her transformation. When Joppe will be sixteen years old, she can start receiving female hormones so that her body can start having the changes that girls get at puberty - such as more fat on the thighs and buttocks, and development of breasts. Later she will go through surgery so that her genitals will take the female form.

Joppe's journey of transformation is not completely painless though as her experience with Brian shows. Young people in her community may not be cruel or discriminatory to her, but at the same time, she is seen as different and at the beginning of any new relationship with a boy or a man, she will need to face the dilemma of "Can I tell him that I was born a boy?" and then let the boy/man decide if he wishes to continue that relationship.

She is aware that though she can wear a bikini and go to the swimming pool with her friends, she is also a little anxious if others can make out the difference. In the bathroom of the swimming pool, she sees other girls with their growing breasts and the feminine curves, and worries about her own flat chest and curveless body.

Most of all, Joppe is aware that "becoming a woman" is not a journey with an end point, but rather, it is a life long journey where she has to keep on becoming and transforming. And on this journey, she will have to face many other challenges.

About one day making a family with a man, Joppe says, "If he would wish for a family with children, perhaps he can have a child with a surrogate mother. It will be only his biological child, but I won't mind it so much."

***

You can watch "I am a girl" with English subtitles on Aeon Film website - it is free of charge.

Credits
Ik ben een meisje
Director: Susan Koenen
Producer: Albert Klein Haneveld
Editor: Denise Janzée, Susan Koenen
Cinematographer: Reinout Steenhuizen
Sound: Bouwe Mulder

Running Time: 15 minutes
Language: Dutch with English subtitles
Website: www.ikbeneenmeisje.nl

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Trans-gender persons and Media

As part of "Divergenti - International Film Festival on Trans-sexual issues" held in Bologna (Italy) in May 2013, a workshop was organized on how media reports about trans-sexual issues and to provide some guidance about how issues related to trans-sexual people can be communicated.

The workshop had two main speakers from the UK based Trans Media Watch - www.transmediawatch.org - Helen Belcher (director of TMW) and Jane Fae, a British journalist.

Trans-sexual people every where are usually surrounded by misconceptions. In India, where I grew up, there is little real knowledge about trans-sexual persons known as Hijra or Khusra or Kinnar, though they have a well defined derogatory social role - to come and ask for alms during auspicious occasions (marriages, child birth, festivals). According to the popular perception, they also work as sex-workers. In the every day reality, they are ostracised and discriminated in a vicious manner, at all levels.

Gender is about being a man or woman, and behaving as a man or a woman. It is about male and female identities of persons.

Three levels of Gender Identification

Helen Belcher talked about three levels of gender identification - at the level of genitals, at the level of chromosomes and at the level of persons' brains. For each of these levels, completely male and completely female can be seen as two extremes and there is a range (spectrum) of positions in between those two extremes. Usually, the gender at all the three levels is same, but in many persons these three levels can be independent of each other:

External genitals can be completely male or female or they can have some mixed characters (inter-sexual).

In terms of chromosomes, males have XY sex chromosomes, female have XX chromosomes, while some persons can have different configuration such as XXY.

At the brain level or emotional level, persons can feel male or female, even if their genitals or chromosomes may not match these feelings. Most persons can recognise a male and female parts in themselves.

Thus a person can have outwardly completely male genitals and yet at chromosome level may not have the XY chromos or at the level of feelings, may feel to be a female. Similarly a person may have female genitals and yet feel to be a male.

Trans-sexual persons have always existed in the history, though only in the past few decades, they have been able to come out in public and ask for their human rights.

Historically, the issue of trans-sexuality was treated as a mental health issue and has been medicalized, called as "gender identity disorder". There have been debates if it has a biological origin.

To be a transgender person is not a choice

It is important to understand that being a trans-person is not a choice, people do not choose to be trans-sexual. Given the exclusion and discrimination that trans-persons have to go through, if it was just a question of choice, why do people go through it? They go through it because it something too deep in them, it is not a question of choice.

All of us go through a continuous and unrelenting conditioning from early childhood that construct our identities in terms of boyness and girlness. To question that conditioning is difficult and transition (the process of changing gender) is a process that does not ever end. Some people believe that just because you have had a surgical operation, you have changed gender and your transition is complete, that is not true. Transition is a process, where you challenge that childhood conditioning every day.

Stereotypes about transgender persons

There are many stereotypes about trans-persons. For example, that they all do comedy shows or that they are acting, they are "putting on a show", they are not who they say they are. They are seen as exotic and extravagant, non caring persons. Or that they are sex workers. They are not seen as ordinary persons.

The word trans-gender is an umbrella term. There are many other related terms such as cross-dresser, gender variant, trans-sexual, poly-gender, drag queen or drag king, transvestite, etc. Some of these words have different definitions, their boundaries are fluid and keep on changing. These identities are dynamic, their precise meanings can keep on changing at different points in the lives of persons.

Gender identity and sexual orientation

Often people confuse between the transgender issues and issues related to sexual orientation. Helen Belcher explained it very clearly when she said, "Gender is about who you feel to be, a man or a woman. Sexual orientation is about with whom do you wish to have sex."

There are transgender women (persons who were given male gender identity at birth), who wish to have sex with men while there are others who prefer other women or transgender women. There are transgender men (persons who were given female identity at birth) who like sex with other men or with women or with transgender women. Equating transgender issues with being gay or lesbian is not correct, though all these groups often face similar social barriers in terms of prejudice, discrimination, violence, abuse, etc.  

In conclusion

These are just some of the idea presented by Helen in the workshop. Persons working the media, like everyone else in the public, also have the same misconcpetions and stereotypes about trans-gender persons and by writing about these issues in a particular way, amplify those ideas and make them more universal. Thus, it is important that media-persons can have a dialogue with and understand the different issues linked to trans-gender persons.

(Updated and corrected the article on 24 July 2013)

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Short films at Trans Film Festival

Sunday 5 May, was the last day of "Divergenti 2013", the international film festival in Bologna (Italy) on transgender themes. It was also the day of short films.

I was fortunate that on each day of the festival, I was able to watch/attend at least one film or event, though I missed two films that I would have really loved to see - Noor (France & Pakistan, 2012) and Facing mirrors (Iran, 2011). This festival has been an intensive full immersion course into transgender issues for me.

Coming to the short films in the festival, there were five of them on 5 May. I love the short film format and wish that there were more of these films. Here are my impressions about the five short films shown in the festival:

Lili longed to feel her insides
(USA, 2011, 5 min., directors - Adelaide Windsome and Wren Warner)

If you wish, you can watch this film on the youtube video.
Apart from expressing the angst of Lili Elbe, the first person who was identified as transexual in USA and who went through the transition surgery, I am not so sure if I have understood all the things that this puppet-based film wanted to communicate. It shows the challenges and anguish of Lili through a puppet and a background song.

In the film, I was struck by the shot of a butterfly (or was it a crab?), pierced by a stick, fluttering and writhing, trying to get away. However, I am not so sure about the symbolism of the hole on the Lili-puppet's tummy, and pulling out of her body parts, or the stick fixed in her nose.

Perhaps, this film is not about any rational understanding, but it is more about communicating the emotional state and anguish of Lili's experience? Thus, like abstract art, it is not important to ask for meanings, but rather we should focus on the feelings evoked by the images and the song? If you watch this film, I would love to hear about your impressions about this film.

Burmese butterfly
(Myanmar, 2011, 12 min., director Hnin Ei Hlaing)

This is the first film of director Hnin Ei Hlaing from Yangon Film School. The film tells the story of Phyo Lay, born as a boy named Kew, who from her early childhood, felt that she was a girl. She lives with her grandmother in Yangon and calls her "mother". Her grandmother initially tried to control her and to make her behave like a boy, but Phyo Lay's feelings were too strong to be chained.

Duped by a man proposing a job in a bar in Thailand, Phyo finds herself stranded in a border town. She finds work in a bar in a small town of Myanmar and then finally goes to Thailand, to work in a factory. Finally back in Yangon because "I missed my mother", Phyo now works in a beauty parlour, is open about being a transexual and her grandmother has finally accepted her for who she is.

In the last scene of the film Phyo says, "Next time, I want to be born as a girl. There is just too much prejudice against us."

It is a simple straight forward film with some sepia coloured flashback scenes shot with actors to illustrate significant moments in Phyo's childhood. It provides a glimpse into the transgender and queer community of Myanmar. It also tells a universal story common to transexual persons all over the world.

Undress me
(Original title Ta Av Mig, Sweden 2013, 15 min., director Victor Lindgren)

Swedish film "Undress me" is about a MtF transexual girl called Mikaela (Jana Bringlöv Ekspong) and her encounter with a guy (Björn Elgerd) in a pub (check the trailor on Youtube).

The guy is attracted towards her and also a little puzzled. He says, "I have never met a girl who is taller than me and has a voice deeper than me".

The girl explains that she is transexual. The guy is shocked but also a little curious. He goes to her house and wants to see her body. She wants him to reciprocate, by showing his body.

The film shows the curiosity about the bodies and genitals of transgender persons and at the same time, their difficulties in being seen as persons with feelings and desires. For example, in the film, Mikaela and the guy, they never kiss.

The guy is attracted and at the same time, afraid. And there is a feeling of underlying tension in the film related to the insecurities of masculinity, as if violence can erupt suddenly. It is not because the guy is particularly rude or nasty, but I think that in general our societies are less tolerant of diversity and being rude or not behaving properly with persons who are "different" is seen as "normal".

I liked a lot this film.

Il Mio Genere - My gender
(Italy, 2012, directors Marta Cioncoloni & Cesare Bonifazi Martinozzi, 20 min.)

This film tells the story of Emanuele or Lele, born a girl and his journey to become a FtM man. He explains very eloquently about his growing up years and the slow understanding about his own desires linked to different events in his life that make him decide on the transition.

"The girl that I was so many years, sometimes she still wants to come out and express herself. I accept those moments with serenity, because she is also part of my history and part of me", he explains. Thus, his FtM transition is a shift along a spectrum that can range from points situated somewhere between the extremes of masculinity and feminility, but that continues to have elements of both.

The film also has interviews with a psychologist working in a "Transexual advisory centre" and with a surgeon who has experience in transition-related surgery. I think that for persons who know little about transexual issues and for young persons going through a crisis of identity, this can be a good educational-informational film.

It sounds a little jarring to hear the doctor refer to transexual persons as "patients", as if they are sick (though he is talking about his role as a doctor so perhaps the use of word "patient" is understandable). But then medicalization of all issues related to alternate sexualities is a common issue for different groups of persons, and not just for transexual persons.

These educational/informational parts of the film are very verbal and do not use any images or models to explain anything. However, before the screening one of the directors, Martinozzi, had explained that this is their first film, made without any kind of external funding, so it is easy to understand its limits.

You can watch the full film in the Youtube video, though it is in Italian and does not have subtitles.

La Victoria de Ursula - Ursula's Victory
Spain 2011, directors Julio Marti & Nacho Ruipérez, 16 min.

This film is a little jewel, complete with gothic atmospheres, and strange looking characters, who give an idea of hidden mysteries and conspiracies. In some ways, the film is like a Spanish version of Addams family. The film starts with a stormy night and a young girl dressed in red raincoat with a hood, carrying a suitcase, walking through a lush foliage, who breaks the chains of a cemetery and then starts digging at a grave. The secret of her actions is revealed at the end, with a well-constructed surprize.

You can watch the full film in the Youtube video - it is in Spanish with English subtitles.

The film has an eloquent message about people's fear of society and thus how persons who do not fit with the society's norms, such as transexual persons, are hidden and mutilated to keep up the appearances.

Among the short films of "Divergenti 2013", I liked this film most.

Conclusions

I think that the understanding that comes from a "story" is completely different from the understanding that comes from someone explaining something. Both kinds of understandings can be important.

However, if I have to judge a film, I would like to feel it in a cinematic language - that means, a communication through images and words, and not some kind of lecture. That is why I liked "Ursula's victory" most because of the way it uses the cinematic language and the way it is able to provide an emotional connect to the persons in its story.

Actually the English translation of the film's title "La Victoria de Ursula" takes away an important aspect of film's meaning. The film is about victory of Ursula, who manages to respect the dignity of her father. At the same time, the title of the film can be seen as change of the name "Victor" into "Victoria" on the tombstone.

Some documentaries rely almost completely on words - that is, people speaking and explaining. Probably these can work equally well as radio programmes. I personally feel that explaining everything and not letting the audience discover their own meanings, is boring and is less effective in terms of communication.

Thus, in the short films, for me the element of how much is not said/explained is really important because, then it can become like a broken tooth and your mind constantly goes back to it, trying to decipher its meanings. In that sense, I think that "Undress me" was the strongest short film in the festival, because it does not give any kind of explicit message, it does not give any clear judgement and in the end, it makes you question yourself. Four days after watching it, I still find myself occasionally thinking about it. Thus while "Ursula's victory" had an immediate strong impact, in the long run, "Undress me" is more effective.

Internet gives you the option of watching three of these films, so why don't you take a look at them and make your own opinions? I would love to hear about your opinions.

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Regarding the Trans film festival of Bologna (2013), I have already written two more reviews - "Nessuno è perfetto" (Nobody is perfect) about MtF transexual persons and "Sexing the Transman" about FtM transexual persons.

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Sexing the Transman - the path to manhood

"Sexing the Transman" is a 2011 documentary film on FemaleToMale (FtM) transexual persons by Buck Angel. I saw this film in "Divergenti 2013", the International Trans Film Festival in Bologna (Italy) organized by Movimento Identità Transessuale (MIT - Italian Transexual Identity Movement) in the first week of May.

I had never really thought about FtM transexual persons before. More than a decade ago, during a research on sexuality and disability, I had read something about difficulties of surgical construction of penis in the FtM persons compared to the relative ease of constructing a vagina in MtF transexual persons, but somehow, after finishing my research I had never really thought about it.

As general public, we are much more aware of the Male-to-Female (MtF) transexual persons, especially in terms of the stereotypes of flamboyant and exotic personalities that are often used as caricatures to elicit laughs or as villains and perverted personalities in films and mainstream media. I do not remember seeing or reading about any FtM character in any film or book in any language. There have been a few films where women dress as a man (for example, Albert Nobbs, where Glenn Close dresses as a man in the 19th century Ireland to find a job and Yentl, where Barbara Streisand dresses as a man to get Jewish religious education), but in those films, the women do not really wish to be a man, they are only forced by circumstances to cross-dress.

If someone asks you to imagine and describe a FtM transexual person, that is someone who was born as a girl and who later became a boy or a man, what kind of person will you think of? If someone had asked me this question before I had seen "Sexing the Transman", I think I would have thought of femminine looking men. Now take a look at Buck Angel, who is the scriptwriter, producer and director of "Sexing the Transman", and also an actor in some adult XXX films, and ask yourself if he fits in with your ideas of a FtM person?

However, thinking that all FtM transexual persons are like Buck Angel, would be equally wrong. Like all human beings, FtM persons also come in all shapes and sizes. A trailor of the film on Youtube can give you a glimpse into some of them.

The Film

"Sexing the Transman" takes you into the largely unknown world of FtM transexual persons in north America through some in-depth interviews. People talk about their childhoods, their understanding of how they felt different, their alienation from their bodies, their decisions to make a transition to a male persona, the effects of taking male hormone (testosterone), the surgeries to get rid of their breasts, and most of all, the liberating effects of the transition on their lives.

The film gave me the feeling of being in a locker room full of horney adolescent guys. The guys in the film constantly talk of dicks, jacking off and fucking. The only missing words in their vocabulary are related to female genitals.

Almost all the persons in the film talked about their feelings of being imprisoned in their bodies and their distaste (or refusal) towards their femminine bodies and genitals before the transition. In the pre-transition phase, some of them had been through the traditional female roles with their boyfriends, though they felt that something was missing. They describe taking testosterone as suddenly feeling alive for the first time in their lives. It is like a second adolescence, it makes them feel horney and sexually excited all the time.

Almost all the persons in the film have had some kind of surgical operation for the removal of their breasts. They say that breasts were non-sexual for them. After the operation and hormones, most of them feel an increased sensitivity of their nipples and understand the pleasure that comes from touching of those nipples. In a moving testimony, one of the guy explained the years of binding his breasts and covering himself with layers of clothes to hide them, and his joy in taking off his shirt in public after his breast removal operation - the joy of feeling naked skin.

Only one guy in the film has had surgical operation to get a penis. All the remaining persons seem happy with their slightly overgrown clitoris, treating them as penises. At the same time, those who do not go through the operation for the construction of a penis, they have their vaginas. Many of them say that after the transition, they feel more accepting towards their vaginas and some of them agree that they also like being penetrated. Compared to non-trans guys, the FtM guys in this film seem very much relaxed about their bodies, open to experimenting different flavours of pleasure.

All of them agree that transition has changed their lives completely. Some of them are in relationships, some have sex with other FtM guys like themselves, some like sex with men, some others like it with women. These discussions clarify the differences between their gender preference and their sexual orientation. In terms of gender they all feel male. In terms of sexual orientation, they are very different - some of them are heterosexual (they like women), some are gay (they like other men or FtM men) and some like to experiment with men, women and FtM guys.

There are two women in the film, who talk about their sexual relationships with the FtM guys. One of them, Margaret Choo, is much more open to experimenting the different male and female roles in the sex with lesbians and with FtM guys. The other, Selene, looks at FtM guys exclusively as "male" and does not want to deal with the female parts of their bodies.

The film has a few explicit sex scenes, showing FtM guys having sex or showing their genitals and jacking off.

Comments

Some of the initial explicit sex scenes embarrassed me, especially the scenes of the couples (Sean and Dan, Buck and Fallen). I felt that the explicit sex scenes detracted from the film. If I was watching this film at home, probably I would have switched it off at that point. Fortunately I was not at home, but in a cinema hall and so I could not switch it off. After watching the full film, looking back, I feel that without those scenes, I would not have understood half as much. Or that I would have understood what it means to be a FtM guy only in theoretical/rational terms and not in emotional terms.

The film goes straight to the point and shows you how does it feel to be a FtM guy. As men, we are so much preoccupied about the length, width and the erection of our dicks, and the duration of our "performances". FtM world liberates you from such anxieties - you can still be a guy and have enormous pleasure and fun with sex even if you don't have any dick.

FtM world has its own jargon and the film touches on some of them. For example, "transition" is the process of changing from female to male persona, "top surgery" is breast surgery, "stone" is about ignoring your vagina during the sex, "Cis" is a person who was born as a male, and "strap-ups" are artificial penises that can be strapped up. Vaginas can be "lower half" or "the hole".

I have already written about the other film, "Nessuno è perfetto" (No one is perfect), that dealt with MtF transexual persons. These two films are completely different - "Nessuno è Perfetto" is melancholic and more about challenges, difficulties, emotions, love and relationships; while "Sexing the Transman" is more joyful and it focuses on liberation, having sex and fun. The two films give a completely different glimpses of the two transexual worlds, though both may be partial glimpses!

I feel that "Sexing .." could have benefited by having some older FtM persons, who had the transition some decades ago and who could have looked back at longer periods to share their experiences and challenges.

I wish that more people will see this film to get an understanding about an area that is so little known. It would make you look at male and female roles in more open ways, and in the process, understand and enjoy your own sexuality in more fulfilling ways.

Note: More information including trailors and an adult XXX version of this film are available on the Buck Angel's Sexing the Transman website.

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I was thinking that transitioning from male to female or from female to male, can pose some specific challenges. The answers to those challenges may not be easy in the present system. Here are three examples of these challenges:

Alessandra, one of my friends in Bologna, was born a male and had married. Only after marriage, she understood her desire to be a woman and went through a surgical operation. After the operation, she asked to be recognized as a woman. However, after legal recognition, her marriage has been annulled, because Italian law does not recognize marriage between persons of same sex. Alessandra has still the same body and is the same person who had married to a woman, she still loves that woman and they still live together, but because she had an operation and she took some hormones, her marriage is no longer valid.

Another Alessandra, Mr. D'Agostino, writer of an Italian book about FtM guys called "Sesso mutante - i transgender si raccontano" (Changing sex - the transgenders tell their stories), decided to become a man five years ago. He had some surgery and took hormones. However, he does not want to get his uterus removed. On the other hand, according to the Italian law, to be recognized legally as a man he must get his uterus removed. Thus, inspite of his manly body, beard and deep voice, he still has a female name and on his documents he is a woman, that create lot of difficulties in the daily life.

In the film Trans-America, the MtF woman is with her son whom she had fathered before her transition. Yet, because she is a woman, she can't be a "father" of her son, and is obviously not his mother. The film does not pose this as a legal question, but more a question of relationship between a son and his father.

All these examples point to the way the male and female gender roles are closely linked in our societies to being father and mother in a family. Transitions confuse these clear boundaries, and create paradoxes.

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International Trans Film Festival 2013

The 6th International Trans Film Festival of Bologna, called "Divergenti 2013" (Divergent or going in different directions) started on 2 May 2013. The festival is organized by MIT - Movimento Identità Transessuale (Transexual Identity Movement) of Bologna (Italy) and many other partner organisations such as "Some prefer cake" and "Cassero - Bologna Gay Lesbian centre". This year the festival is focusing on the way media looks at and talks about transexual persons and related issues.

This year, I am planning to attend at least part of the festival, including a participation in a workshop on "Trans* and Media".

Though I did participate in the past in some GLBTI events and once I had interviewed Alessandra Bernaroli, who is fighting for her right to marriage, I have to confess my substantial ignorance about transexual issues. Thus, I am hoping to learn more about these issues from this festival.

MIT was initated in 1979 with the aim of fighting for "right to sex change" and is the first association of transexual persons in Italy. The law on sex change (Law 164) was approved by Italian parliament on 14 April 1982.

Porpora Marcasciano, president of MIT and an activist for human rights, sociologist, researcher and writer, opened the festival. In her speech, she pointed out the widespread stigma and prejudice surrounding transexuals. At the same time, she felt that the stories of transexuals are usually told by others, non-transexuals, so that one of the aims of the festival is to give voice to transexual persons themselves.

An Italian documentary film, "Nessuno è Perfetto" was the opening film of the festival.

Nessuno è Perfetto
(No one is perfect, 2013, Italy, 82 minutes)

The film is produced by Ar.Pa. films, is directed by Fabiomassimo Lozzi and its screenplay is by Fabiomassimo Lozzi & Antonio Veneziani.

The film focuses on the worlds of Male-to-Female (MtF) transexuals, through interviews with a group of transexual women who were born as male. The different stories are mixed together and do not follow a chronological order, thus the film feels like a chorus of different voices around the central theme of transexual women.

The different voices about lived experiences of persons alternate with the poetry of Antonio Veneziani, an Italian poet, who writes about love, relationships, pain, abbandonment, identity, gender ... Though the trailor of "Nessuno è perfetto" does not have English subtitles, still you can take a look at it to get a feel about the film.

I think that among the transexual persons, the men who desire or feel to be a woman, are better known to general public, since there have been some important films around them. For me, the most important work in this sense is the Spanish film "All about my mother" (Pedro Almodovar, 1999), where I had loved Agrado as the warm hearted transexual prostitute.

Another important film about MtF transexual persons is "Trans America" (Duncan Tucker, 2005). This film touched on the complexity and challenges of the transition process including issues regarding surgical operations in biological males to become a woman and the complicated relationship of a transexual woman with her teenage son, she had fathered in her male days. (Check its trailor on Youtube)

Thus, Lozzi's film was not my first experience about the world of transexual women. However, still the film surprized me because it gave a glimpse of the absolute diversity of experiences and meanings of being a transexual woman. It made me realize that to be a "transexual woman" is not one stereotype experience, but rather each individual is different. Flamboyant and exotically dressed trans-women, popularly known as drag-queens, catch public attention and make us think that all trans-women are like that. Lozzi's film makes you understand that this is far from true, by presenting a palette of very different persons, none of whom fits in the "flamboyant and exotic drag-queen" group.

Marcello seems more male than female. He dresses as a male and wishes to be known by a male name. He shares his the pain of his first traumatic sex experience. He has not taken female hormones like estrogen, has no female-breasts and not been operated. He is a woman, emotionally and psychologically rather than physically.

Daniela has been a wife for fifteen years. She talks about her operation in London because that operation gave "more depth" to her new genitals. The operation allowed her to become a woman legally and have a female name. Her mother in law did not even realize that she is transexual and keeps on hoping for a grandchild. Only when Daniela was close to her separation from her husband, she talked to her mother-in-law about her transexuality. Her mother-in-law's reaction, "..but my son's body is normal, I know it because I bathed him as a child" gives a glimpse into common misconceptions and lack of understanding about transexuality in general public.

Georgina talks about her controlling husband, and her fight to be her own person and to make her own choices. She also thinks that a "normal" family is made of a man, a woman and their children and thus does not think that couples with a transexual person have a right to marry.

Leila, an artist from Brazil, talks about her early exclusion because "she was not Italian", and also of the strong influence of church.

Andrea is a fish-seller and also a handicrafts person, talks of her initially difficulties and the social stigma. She also talks of her intense relationship for four years with a person who had lot of problems and how their relationship changed from passion to "maternal care". "It is heterosexual men, persons who like women, who get attracted to trans-women", Andrea says smiling, "but so many of them want me my dick, they want me to be the active partner."

Another story is that of Venecio, a pioneering trans-woman who was some kind of famous artist. Her part of story in the film is shown through a visit to a museum dedicated to her costumes.

Comments

The persons in the film talk of their initial difficulties, their first sex experiences, their love lives, their long relationships, their hormone therapies and operations, their struggles to be "normal" in a society that does not accept them easily.

On the whole, the film is sad and melancholic, focusing on difficulties, loneliness, challenges of finding love and companionship, of being used just for sex. Veneziani's poems that connect different parts of the stories, are also melancholic. The only happy parts of the film are where Andrea comes on screen.

I could understand from the film that the transition, the process of changing from a man to a woman, is an evergoing process, it does not conclude just because a person has been operated and has female genitals or takes hormones. Rather transition is a lifelong process of a new gender identity that must be forged constantly, fighting or dealing with external and internalized gender roles, stereotypes and expectations.

The film focuses on persons who have lived through tougher and more closed times of 1970s and 1980s when the issues of transexuality were just coming out and the battles for their human rights were just begining. They all feel that today things are easier and their is much more visibility, so it is easier for persons to transition and make their choices. I feel that the film could have gained by having one or two more contemporary stories of younger persons, who have different kind of experiences.

The film has many shots of Veneziani getting out of and getting back into a house, where he has to squeeze through a half-open door. I am not sure if it has some symbolic meaning (I didn't get the meaning) and why it is repeated so often. The parts about Veneziani, like the shots showing he is writing notes, seem like intellectual/literary posturing.

Globally I liked this film and I think it succeeds in giving you an idea of diversity of transexual women and their lives and experiences, especially in the above-fifty age group.

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